He is my first boyfriend, and my last. So honestly I cannot say I’ve had a lot of experience in relationships…, which is a Whooole different genere to men when you’re single.
I’ve learnt that relationships are not all fairytales. It’s not all magic and butterflies. Of course, at the beginning, of courting and wooing, there is the thrill of the chase, there is the uncertainty, knowing but not knowing if you like each other or not, the dates and dressing up. If you’re relationship is like that, a continum fairytale then you have been Very blessed. But like all things in life, I believe you have to work, what goes up must come down. It’s inevitable.
The most important thing is to know that you love each other. To truly believe that in your heart and not let that slide or the world will come tumbling down. Every couple had its fights, some even do it deliberately saying it’s healthy and what keeps their love alive. For me, at the moment, so far, I’ve learnt that an argument can be because of two categories, physical (tired, stressed, hungry etc), or because of indifference. And with both, I have learnt a lot, about myself and about the other half. And each time, I take it as an opportunity to progress further to understand each other, to not let the same issue arise.
I love you so much, more than you ever know. And each day it makes it more certain that Everything is worth fighting for. When I was single, I roamed around going places without a care in the world, despite how free and happy I was, I always knew it would be better to have someone else in my life to share the moments. I’ve finally found him.
It is true. Happiness is only from within. From oneself. Back in the day, when I was so depressed, I begged in anyway in my abilities for help, to be around people to lift me up. My boyfriend makes me the happiest person in the world, the Queen. But sometimes we argue and I feel. The. Worst. I’ve learnt so much, and especially about self control. He had this thing where he can tell even the Minute bit of my face is off, he could tell. He told me, like a father, to change my face. And I was so surprised that evening how quickly I could genuinely transform.
Being the person I am, every now and then enjoying living outside the moment, I ponder. I ponder, and ponder, how different my life would be in a single split decision. Life is ultimately in our hands. I think if I miss any of my old life, if I miss speak to someone on an ‘equal’ level. But no, I would Never doubt, Ever, my decision. My life had become happier, and fulfilled, doing things I’ve only dreamed of. His crazy makes my life even more Colourful, and bright;something no one else can provide. I don’t settle for the ordinary. An ‘ordinary’ intellectual conversation would be nice, but nice is mundane. And I can carry my own mundane by myself. He fills the voids.
It reinforces the meaning of “the little things in life”. Such as watching TV, or being in bed together with my book.
He is Terrifying. when he’s angry /upset. And when he’s not, I completely forget all that and I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Life is a game of give and take. Compromise. Building and learning together.