Not confused about you.

And that was the last time I shall dedicate myself to you.

The last time. The farewell. I replay those last moments in my mind. the moment where I last share myself to you. The moment where I kissed you, I hugged you longer and deeper than I never would after. The last moment where you gave me my answers to give me a clearer mind – a time where we could talk endlessly and I’d happily hear you out for hours.

…And the time where you turned your back on me. You turned you back, I held that moment tight, where I knew that was it. The finale. No going back. You turn to go back to your life and I turn to go back to mine.

I replay those moments in my head over and over again. Long before, I used to ask you, to give me something to hold onto, and finally I have my answer, and I shall hold onto those last moments, and all those others moments that we spent together. Pictures, feelings,.. memories.

I am not longer confused. The heart is illogical, and yes we should listen to our heads, but we as humans are given emotions for a reason – to experience life, to experience failure, to become stronger.

Yes, I could be confused. When I last left you, you answered my questions, yet there is so much more I have asked. Many many questions, advice, comments, etceteras, whether they will all be answered, that’s up to you. But I am no longer confused; for I have already given myself to you and you have already done enough to help me through, … to hold you, spend time with you just that one little longer, …given me what I must experience in life … as … my.. first .. heart – breeak.

Our time together, I take it as fate. From the day I bumped into you, or perhaps even before that and the moments you were there for me when I was at my lowest and had no one else. So I shall let fate once again do its work. And maybe in the far future I shall bump into you again.

Thank . You .  x


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